Your fundraising appeal. Donation page. Email welcome series. Donor newsletter.
It’s all copy, and sometimes it goes bad. But why?
#1 - It’s written and edited by the wrong people.
The “great writers” on your team might not be the best picks for your donor comms.
Do they understand the very different purposes and practices of marketing vs. fundraising writing? Are they subject-matter experts writing academically? Have they been given any training in writing for donors?
In a truly sad scenario, many pieces for donors also get edited by committee. Those invited to weigh in may include both Comms and Dev teams, plus your exec director, programs experts, and even your accountant. (I’m not joking.)
This is where good donor copy goes to die.
A FIX: Work with a trained fundraising copywriter — either to provide creative services directly or as a consultant to advise and coach your team. We have a specialized skill set. Be curious about our craft and trust our experience.
#2 - Worshipping The Rules.
Branding matters! Brand guides standards and efficiency for marketing.
Style matters! Style guides keep things uniform. Ideally, they also provide clarity.
But these rulebooks are not universally useful or effective. Especially when it comes to writing for donors.
Know when and why to color outside the lines.
A FIX: If Marketing and Comms protest, bring in some continuing ed. Everyone wins when we understand fundraising’s unique focus on personal psychology and emotional relationship-building.
#3 - Starting off on the wrong foot.
Consider these two openings of a donor appeal:
>> Dear Sarah,
Responsibility. Hard work. Helping others. These are the top three attributes a PEW Research Study found that parents want their kids to learn. We need our youth and their adults to see a problem and try and fix it. Good news, family volunteering is an impactful way to ensure generations of children grow up to be adults who work hard, take responsibility for their actions, and help their neighbors by volunteering, donating, and taking civic action. >>*
OR
>> Dear Sarah,
From the back seat I heard my son Isaac’s small voice:
If you are homeless, you don’t have anywhere for your toys?
If you are homeless, you don’t have a kitchen? Or a bathroom?
If they don’t have a home, we could invite them to our house.
These were the tender words of my five-year-old after we volunteered with [ORG NAME].
Isaac saw neighbors in need, and he didn’t look away. He wanted to do something about it. >>*
Which of these would a busy person keep reading?
Which would go straight to the recycle bin?
A FIX: Give the biggest chunk of your writing time and attention to the opening lines. They must be irresistible. Surprising and specific. Emotional. Rich with sensory detail. Skimmable.
(*This is a real makeover I wrote for a client. I can do the same for you.)
#4 - It’s self-centered.
Your writing revolves around how terrific your organization is.
You cram in detail after detail about your programs, trying to educate and inform your reader into caring.
You give lots of space to sharing institutional knowledge, from your history to your Theory of Change to your past achievmeents.
Where is the reader — your donor — in all this?
THE FIX: Use twice as much “you” language as “us” language when you write. Print out your next appeal and circle every instance of YOU. Count them honestly and adjust accordingly.
#5 - Where’s the offer?
“Please give to support our work” is not an offer.
“It’s Giving Tuesday. Please donate!” is not an offer.
An offer is how the donor can help solve a specific problem or meet a specific need.
An offer looks like:
Please give a mother and her children a month of safe shelter after domestic abuse.
OR
With your gift today, you’ll advocate for clean, healthy rivers tomorrow on Capitol Hill.
OR
Will you give a hard-to-adopt dog special training and foster care, so they can find their forever family?
A FIX: Before you exclaim, “BUT, unrestricted gifts!”… I promise you can make a solid, specific offer while soliciting unrestricted giving. A trained fundraising copywriter knows exactly how to message it.
Of course there are more than five ways bad copy can happen to good fundraisers. There are also so many ways we can SUCCEED.
I’d love to hear from you: What plagues your writing for donors? What are you most proud of in your donor comms? How are you feeling about your year-end copy?